Friday, February 24, 2012

You Know You're a Martial Artist When...

Post By: S Lee

Are you guilty of any of these?

You know you're a martial artist when...

*You use various kicks and strikes to turn light switches on and off
*You refuse to wear certain pants because you can't kick in them
*Trying out a new pair of shoes means practicing sweeps and circle stepping in them
*You bow when entering or leaving a room
*Find yourself practicing ken-jutsu techniques with kitchen knives
*Open and close doors using spinning kicks
*You never lean against walls or stand with your arms crossed or hands in your pockets
*You groan and correct the techniques used in martial art movies
*Find yourself practicing stances while waiting in line
*You imagine yourself hip-throwing any brisk moving individual that passes by you in the Wegmans parking lot
*You bow when introduced to someone new
*Cannot help but take inventory of possible weapons at restaurants and bars
*Practice bo techniques with any long and cylindrical object: yard sticks, broom handles, walking sticks, rakes, snow shovels, etc.
*Have your favorite weapon next to your bed
*Have at least one weapon in each room of your home
*Know exactly what weapon you are going for should your home be invaded
*Insist that various friends and family members grab you and try to hang on while you escape and put them into painful locks and chokes
*Take note whenever you see someone who isn't centered
*You angrily chastise the victims in slasher movies for not using proper self defense
*You respond with "OSU" when given direct instructions from a boss or spouse
*You have or have thought about dive rolling over various objects
*Cannot walk by fellow martial artists without throwing mock punches and kicks at them
*You KIAI instead of swear when you slam your hand in the door
*Cannot walk by wood tables or pieces of concrete without pondering the best technique you could use to break them
*Have a hard time shaking someone's hand without turning it into Kansetsu Waza
*You can recite complete lines from Enter the Dragon, Kill Bill, or Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon
*You can add onto this list...

Photo By: S Ken Smith 








3 comments:

  1. Wow, I so identify with this!

    My addition: when people frustrate you, you think of the many ways you could have choked them, and congratulate yourself for not using any of them. :-)

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  2. What about being asleep and waking up doing a technique or throwing a punch or kick.

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  3. And naming your pets after different techniques (or kids if you're REALLY obsessed.)

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